Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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