I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude i'm inner monologue high
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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