It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
