Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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