So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
