you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm at about main and main street
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
