i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
