if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
