How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
