Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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