i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
