I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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