How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
