Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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