I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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