I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
