Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
