didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
