and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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