The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
