There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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