By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i drank out of a bidet.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
