you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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