and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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