I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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