How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
