We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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