So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
