So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
