How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
