sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
