Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
