yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
