Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
