She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
