I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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