she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
