drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
