So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
