Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
