I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
