I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
