so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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