we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
