I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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