what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We left an ass print on the piano.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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