yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
