well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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