I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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