im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize