I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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