You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
